I need to explore our society, the prejudices, the disdain for mixed culture love, kids, the looks, the anger towards black men with white women, from white men and black women, the reasons why, the sense of abandonment, the real abandonment by some black men who left their 'baby mothers' no role models for boys and girls, the absence of fathers from all cultures, the abandonment of children left in the Caribbean, by fathers in the UK who needed to travel away to work and today the %of working mothers of all cultures in the UK who have no time quality with their children for struggling to earn to pay rent, clothe and feed their children as single mothers. What is going on, is family going to be an historical word or a rare find in a few hundred years? Why do we go round in circles not learning from precious protection of our race that we limit loving to our own kind in DNA only? What's the matter, we are one race, the human race!
Wednesday 2 April 2014
Thoughts on culture, mixed culture society, children
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Hi again, Helen
ReplyDeleteYour blog output is busy today is a less patronising thing for me to say than "you're busy today." Of course, as Single Mothers Self-Defence say, "Every mother is a working mother." They also have a petition, "Invest in Caring Not Killing.".
I believe that capitalism can be justly regarded as largely to blame for many of the relationsip ills of our times. Erich Fromm's book 'The Art of Loving' has helped me gain some insights into how conventional child-rearing and capitalism have distorted relationships. Eg,
“Education is identical with helping the child realize his potentialities. The opposite of education is manipulation, which is based on the absence of faith in the growth of potentialities and the connection that a child will be right only if the adults put into him what is desirable and suppress what seems to be undesirable.”
― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
“Modern capitalism needs men who cooperate smoothly and in large numbers; who want to consume more and more; and whose tastes are standardized and can be easily influenced and anticipated. It needs men who feel free and independent, not subject to any authority or principle or conscience-- yet willing to be commanded, to do what is expected of them, to fit into the social machine without friction; who can be guided without force, led without leaders, prompted without aim-- except the one to make good, to be on the move, to function, to go ahead.”
― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
I also have learned from the realisation that macho culture leads men to think of relationships as conquests and to not show vulnerability. The James Bond type persona never really gets to appreciate women as people and is strongly tied up with militarism. There's an insight that I've read that men who want to 'play the field' -- as my own blood father did -- are really sexually inadequate, seeking copulation rather than closeness.
I also believe that -- as writer Aminatta Forna wrote in an anthology edited by Suzy Orbach -- that the legacy of slavery has inflicted a deepseated trauma on African-American and African-Caribbean culture, with the various impacts that slavery had upon family life.
I have great confidence in your questioning, and reckon that that ties in with your being an artist.
I'll leave it at that for tonight.
Swheatie of the KUWG
Thankyou Alan, there are many refs to explore, I do agree with all the above, just lately I've seen men in hotels on the news who travel home weekends only, one, rail travel is too expensive or there is one car in the family that the working mother needs, two there's no work near home and three he feels emasculated by not being in work and at home on JSA.
ReplyDeleteAs for mixed relationships, I am keeping that open for peoples opinions affecte. By that I mean every opinion is noted as observation or as someone experiencing..I guess I am trying to pin point an undercurrent reason why the anger towards 'mix' is still felt. I've come to the conclusion that it's really towards the blk men from blk women but as I say only a small % feel that way, yet as the soft white woman can be on the end of the kissing of teeth, disdain, etc, just like the white man behaves as he assumes ownership of every single white woman with a blk man. Again only a small % do that. Yet with an influx of nationalities from say former USSR states and some Arabic ones there is a new prejudice I as a white mum to Brown kids experienced. I'll talk to u in person about that. It's actually quite disgusting and frightening. Also my kids dad has been threatened by an ex israeli soldier cab driver whilst parking his car in West Hampstead..extremely racist language used and told him to get out the area. He lives near me. So he see his kids. When the cab driver got out the car so did L it was a surprise for the cabbie to learn he's the outsider, not the black man who has a home, job and family here...disgraceful fresh prejudice are here.
The anger towards blk men from blk women is I think kinda justified, there is a % that have let down blk women, historically, presently..it's impacted on their kids and the male role model has vanished for many.
ReplyDelete